Biblical headship and leadership. It would probably be better not to meet if the couple is not prepared. The core values they comprise can then be understood and respected or changed when no longer appropriate. Increasingly there is a trend toward professional certification and government registration of these services. Have either of you been married before?
Ask the couple for their view about divorce. If the couple is not committed in this way, it will be impossible, for example, for the husband to obey the command of Ephesians 5: There is no reason to hurry into marriage or rush the counseling process because of a date on the calendar! This meeting is conducted differently than the other meetings. Simply make yourself available to talk with them about issues like birth control, the wedding night, sex after marriage, etc. To the best of your knowledge, what is a Christian marriage? A discernment of their maturity, both spiritually and emotionally. Find out if they have selected their wedding vows and if you could read them. Although potentially very hurtful, it is better for the couple to address this issue now rather that after they are married. Consider approaching it this way. Consult with other Pre-Marriage Counselors who may have experienced this situation, and certainly seek the counsel of the Elders and Deacons of the church. Only in this way will you be able to know what additional resources you will want to incorporate into your meetings. The outline for the men should include the following. Remember, you will want to hear what God is teaching them through their study. Put these verses in context with chapters one and three. A Sample Approach To Pre-Marriage Counseling Introduction What follows is a guide for counselors to take a couple contemplating marriage, or engaged to be married, through a basic process of discovery. It is available to be checked out from the church library. This insight will be very valuable as you prepare and conduct this session. From this approach, you might be able to glean the following. Have the couple read I Corinthians and Romans The church desires and expects parental approval. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship. First, and most important; Do both the bride and groom profess faith in the Lord? Provide a confidential dialogue , which normalizes feelings To enable each person to be heard and to hear themselves Provide a mirror with expertise to reflect the relationship's difficulties and the potential and direction for change Empower the relationship to take control of its own destiny and make vital decisions Deliver relevant and appropriate information Changes the view of the relationship Improve communication As well as the above, the basic principles for a couples therapist also include: Encourage the couple to complete the assignments separately.
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